Luffy's advice
by ocean-view-luffy
Summary: Luffy's starting an advice give away! What does the future pirate king have to say about your problems? Um they don't have to be real... just send some in. And read instructions.Wow I sound lame.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok- I decided to start this. It's a Luffy advice column. So here's how it works. **

**1. You send in a problem **

**2. I will post your problem, with Luffy's answer **

**3. Send in how things went -cringes in fear- **

**I am not responsible for Luffy's actions, take this problem for example. **

_**Dear Luffy, **_

_**Someone ran over my kitty cat. I feel really sad. What should I do?**_

_**- Lesley **_

_**Answer: **_

**Dear Lesley,**

**I am sorry about your kitty cat. What you should do is track down the person who ran it over and make that person eat it. That way they would wish they never ran over your cat. **

**-Luffy. **

_**Response: **_

_**Dear Luffy,**_

_**You are a complete idiot! I'm in jail! When I get out I'll wring your sorry rubbery neck until it breaks! **_

_**-Lesley **_

**-sounds of Luffy running ti hide behind Zoro. -**

**You get my drift... Luffy is not always going to have the right answer. So if he says to eat your best friend cause they smell like pizza, I wold recommend not to.** **So send in those responses so I can post them. One chapter will be problems and solutions, the second chapter will be what happened after. **

**Good luck!**

**Ocean-view-luffy **


	2. We finally begin!

**Ok people! Back to reality!! I'm back after being pummeled by tests. And I'm out for Luffy's advice! So let's get this started!!**

**the-pyro-pirate**

Dear Luffy,  
I'm in love with somebody who lives 3,0 miles away from me. He's a pyro just like me, and he eats a lot just like you. (well, maybe not just like you, but almost.)  
How should I cope?  
xoxo  
pyro

P.S. You and Zoro should get together A.S.A.P.

**Oh. Well... send him a letter. Usopp was also saying something about this weird mailing system called "e-mail" You could try that!! Hehe. **

**FirefistACE888 **

My friend hooked me up with one of her friends for a date about 4 weeks ago,(now were bf and gf) and my friends mad at me be cause now she likes him, what should i do??

from,  
firefistACE8, (please just call meh Kat)

**Ok Kat! Um... I don't know much about people liking each other. Zoro says when teo pople like each other ... they act like Sanji. So I'm assuming that your friend is cooking for your boyfriend a lot!! **

**(Zoro: What an idiot! Kat... why don't you talk it out All that heart to heart stuff that I don't care for) **

**Tiger-the-great-Xtra **

Hey Luffy! How are you? Well I just wanted to ask, what do you think of yaoi? You know, like LuffyXZoro or LuffyXSanji? Oh and I think you're really cool!

**What's yaoi...? Does it have something to do with meat!!!! Ooh, like can i order yaoi at a restaurant! **

**(Zoro: Nani!! No Luffy it means gay!!) **

**Gay... you mean, boy/boy. Um... well... Usopp has been suggesting something called ZoLu. So I guess I like that! **

**One Piece Fan Girl 001 **

Dear Luffy,  
This kid I know is really weird. Actually, that kid is metaphoric for all the dudes in my class. How do you deal with idiots like... Bellamy or Wapol?  
-Jessica... a One Piece addict.

**I punch 'em!! Right in the kisser! Haha!! Then... maybe... go for a bite to eat. Fighting gets me hungry. **

**Xena The Stalked **

Dear Luffie,

My lover is sending me 10+ messages a day asking whether I still love them and why I haven't phoned them in the last two hours. This is really getting annoying, do you have any advice? Also, my maths teacher is plotting world domination and I think I'm first in the firing line - so any help with that would be great too : D

Thanku  
Xena The Stalked

**Huh, I don't know anything about this love everyone keeps talking about. But Sanji might know!!**

**Sanji: Tell him that your with me, my precious warrior!! I shall cook you a romantic dinner by candle light and- " **

**Er- yeah! What Sanji said!!! **

**From Dark Sora94,**

Dear Luffy,

I have a HUGE problem! Some guy is saying One Piece sucks, and that Pokemon rules/kicks its ass! I try to tell him he's wrong, but he won't listion. Pluss, I've ran out of meat at home! What should I do?

From Dark Sora94

**One Piece... sucks...? Gahhh! I've devoted my life to finding it! Tell him that a terrible curse befalls his family, and friends! Usopp! Set a new course! I'm in need of a little talk with this guy!! And Sanji! Start making lunch, being serious makes me hungry. **

HEY LUFFY!  
Big fan, by the way.  
I wanna be a pirate as, but I'm a totale goody goody.  
Is there anything I can do to improve on being more pirate like, without hurting anyone?

-Ashley Ferguson

**Um... to be a pirate and not hurt anyone. You can hit them with pillows while shouting "Captain's orders!!!" It works on Zoro... **

**(Zoro: It was only once. And It's not yaoi, I swear!) **

Hey Luffy,  
Its kinda long and complicated so I'll give ya the short version. My mom invited me to come to lunch with her to go see my Grandmom and cousin who I haven't seen since August. The thing is I hate my Grandmom, but love my cousin. I don't know if I should go or not because I'll I have to see her. Any suggestions?

-A Falling Angel

**I see. Um... how about... you stick with your cousin as much as possible. And don't add on to their conversation, cause then they wanna talk. But the lunch offer is probably over, ne? **

THat doesn't sound like Luffy at all! Your a phoney! A big fat phoeny! Phoeny!  
I like pie! Meeps!

**Hey! Shut up! Ur not awesome at all you big phoney! Let's see how you like this! Gomu gomu no... Bazooka!!! **

Dear Luffy,  
My little brother stole my favorite hat and won't give it back. I told my mom, but she told me that its just a hat and to forget about it. But my best friend gave me that hatm what should i do?  
-Lily

**Steal the hat back by any means. Haha! Got that from Zoro. If he ever touches your hat, call me. I'll show him how much a hat means!! What kinda hat was is? Straw? **

ok luffy, i need advice! i hate this charcter from another tv show and since i'm not a character i am not able to kill him, if your wondering his name is sasuke from show naruto, he has a blue chickens but on his head and deserves to die a long and painful death, i need help on trying to make him die so the tv show will go on in happiness! also, do you know if your ever going to have a kid? i mean you need some girl to love eventually... you would go perfect with a brunet or redhead (not nami) maybe a girl who had likke the powers to conrtol the oceon because she ate a sacred fruit instead of cursed one.. oh never mind that!! i need advice!!  
-fallenangel  
ART IS A BANG!

**S-Sasuke. Y-you mean Uchiha Sasuke. Er- wow. I uh... haven't seen him in a while. I mean, wasn't being with Orochimaru for two and ½ years enough? Hey! Let's not get crazy here... he's still p-perfectly human. And that ocean-view is holding some sort of weird knife to my head. **

**Me: It's a kunai fool! And if you touch my Sasuke-kun, you die!!! Just because he's different doesn't mean you can kill him, ok Luffy!!! **

**Yeah! sweatdrop Y-you'd better run. She's a little spaced out today. **

**Me: Sasuke belongs to Naruto!!!! **

**See. **

ok, luffy,

my friend likes your cook, but i just think he's a stupid skirt chaser. what can i do to not puke whenever she calls him sanji kun?

-puke at blonde love

**Haha! This question is easy! Carry a barf bag!!! Seriously, they help. **

Dear Luffy,  
Yo, my brother is irritating me... what should i do?

**Not talk to him for a couple years, then re-unite in some awkward way. **

Dear Luffy,  
I can't find enough ZoLu, what should I do? .--Yaoi Fangirl

**ZoLu?? What does that mean?? And if there isn't enough of it... write it yourself. I know that's what ocean-view does. **

**Me: That's it! You're on Zoro's "To do" list. **

**KK! That was horrible. How about we just change it to Ask Luffy. That way I can get fun and not so difficult OOC questions. Luffy is so stressed out. He's eating veggies. **

**-Until next chapter!! Ocean-view-luffy! **


End file.
